Swim
by ZooperDooper
Summary: Sometimes if you love someone, you need to let them go. Supernatural/Twilight crossover obviously.
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a one shot, maybe a two shot. So please review, for me. And for another chapter of My Beloved Demon and Me.**

**Warning: Swearing and spoilers for season 6.**

_Cause I don't know who I am_

_Who I am without you_

_All I know is that I should_

_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you,_

_All I know is that I should._

Fucking Lisa.

She is such a little bitch, I hate her. I have a perfectly good reason as to why, it's Dean. If you love someone you don't let them go, especially if they love you back. You go and hunt that motherfucker down, and live happily ever after. That's a load of shit.

Happily ever after's for pussies, people who believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Clause. If happy endings are real, where's mine? Where's my knight in shining armor upon a white horse? I'll tell you where he is, he's too busy to rescue me because he's in love with Lisa.

Dean fucking Winchester, the man who I've been in love with since I was 16, that was ten years ago. I am currently a 26 year old hunter who's in love with a man she can never have. My life is just one fucking scrap heap, useless and unwanted.

Sam sees it, fuck a blind man can see how pathetic I am. Everyone sees it except Dean, the only person who is allowed to see it. I love Dean more than life itself, so that's why I'm going to make things right.

The boring, brown, suburban house stood high and mighty before me. The very house I've been trying to avoid and inside it lived the very girl I've been trying to avoid. I clumped up the steps and rang the doorbell.

She opened the door; I didn't miss the disappointment flash across her face. I bit back the scathing comment on my tongue.

"May I come in?" I asked in the most polite voice I could muster, considering the situation I think I managed it pretty well. She studied me for a moment, probably wondering if I was a demon, she took in my agonized eyes and crappy appearance. She nodded and opened the door wider.

She led me into the living room; I sat down on the nearest couch. I just barely managed to keep my muddy shoes on the floor and not rub them on the steam cleaned couch.

She offered me a drink but I kindly refused.

"So, can I help you?" She asked me. This woman made it very clear that she knew who I was and that I was not welcome. I hadn't planned out my speech; I was just gonna wing it.

"Uh, my names Bella and I'm a… friend of Deans." I had a hard time getting the word 'friend' out of my mouth. Her eyes held shock, then panic and pain.

"Is? Is he—"I cut her off.

"No, no he's not dead if that's what you're asking." I reassured her. What the hell? I should have told her he was, just to get her grimy paws off the man I love. The relief that swirled in her eyes told me that she loved him as much as me.

"Well, what's wrong?" She sounded concerned now. For some strange reason I felt a swirl of rage flash through me. It disappeared as fast as it came. My eyes hardened.

"I'm here to tell you that you made the biggest mistake of your life, letting go of Dean." I dropped the polite act and decided that for once in my pitiful life; I was going to let someone in.

"That was the dumbest thing you could possibly do." She looked offended at my comment.

"You have no idea how hard it was to let go of him—"

"No, you don't understand how hard it is to let go of him!" I yelled furiously at her.

"Every day I have to watch the man I love swoon over you! You have absolutely no idea what it is like to let go of someone. You don't understand the pain I go through every day. It feels like a hole has been punched through my chest. And you're a fool if you think that you're better off without him. Because trust me, I would give anything to be where you are now." Tears stained my cheeks and fell on to my dainty hands. A small sob ripped through my mouth.

Lisa sat there with her mouth agape. I wiped my hands across my face and nodded.

"I'm sorry, I—"

"Call him." I interrupted her

"Please don't make this harder for me." I begged her, new tears staining my face. And with that, I showed myself out.

I ran to my car. I drove for about two minutes before I was blinded by tears. I did the right thing. I'm sure of that now.

I watched from the bushes as Dean and Lisa embraced. He looked so happy. All the stress melted from his posture. It was like as soon as he was in her arms, the world just melted away. I wish I was that for Dean.

When the dam breaks, all we can do is swim. We get what we give. And maybe someday, I can love again. But Dean's with Lisa, not me, and I just need to accept that, and swim.

_Cause she will love you more than I could._

_She who dares to stand where I stood._

**As you can tell, I love Missy Higgins and the lyrics are from her song Where I Stood, beautiful song. **

**What do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello my pretties, how goes it? **

**I have a little problem, I'm running out of ideas for story one shots. If you have a good one, please tell me in a review or PM it to me. Cheers.**

**Enjoy… **

_And at last I see the light_

_And it's like the fog has lifted_

_And at last see the light_

_And it's like the sky is new._

People gathered around inside the little church. I saw many familiar faces, Uncle Dan, the man who I only saw twice a year. Aunt Isobel, the woman I was named after, Janice Doyle, my childhood best friend, Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton, Jess and Mike both had wedding rings on so I guess its Jessica Newton now.

They weren't the ones who caught my attention, looming in the background were the Cullen's. I haven't seen them since they left me when I was 18. That was the push I needed to get me back into hunting and reunite with Sam and Dean.

Alice was dry sobbing into Jaspers chest, while he tried to keep his composer. Rosalie wasn't crying, she didn't even look sad. Emmett had his head bowed, his eyes betrayed his pain. Esme's body was shaking with silent sobs. Carlisle was the same as Emmett. That left Edward.

Edward had his arm around a beautiful brunette. His face held anguish and a little love. I smiled; glad he had found some happiness.

Uncle Dan walked up to the microphone which was on a small stage. He cleared his throat loudly, a few people in the audience winced, I chuckled.

"Well, Bella was… something else. I regret not seeing her more. Because when you're around her, your day brightens. The sun seemed to follow her wherever she went. I found a poem that I think suits her, uh,

_May the road rise up to meet you._

_May the wind always be at your back._

_May the sun shine warm upon your face;_

_The rain falls soft upon your fields and until we meet again,_

_May God hold you in the palm of his hand."_

By the end of the speech I was wiping a few stray tears away. Uncle Dan sucks at speeches, but that makes this one all the more special.

The church door opened and creaked loudly. Everyone turned around to see Dean Winchester creep into the church and sit down at the last bench.

Shame flooded through me and I ducked my head. The last time I saw Dean was 3 years ago, the day I yelled at Lisa to take him back. That was the day I packed up my things and hit the road. I called Sam every few months, until one day he stopped answering.

I walked down the aisle and sat next to him. Nobody noticed me, of course not I'm a ghost. Dean looked the same, he would be about 34. And Sam would be 30. Speaking of Sam where is he? I looked around hoping to spot him somewhere up the front. No Sam. I frowned, did he hate me that much? Not even come to my funeral? I guess I deserved it.

I hadn't noticed Aunt Isobel walk up the microphone and start talking. She was retelling the story of the time she took me to the Zoo for the first time, I was 5. I resumed my Dean staring.

He still looked like a Greek god. I used to think that Edward looked like Adonis, but Edward had boyish features while Dean had chiseled good looks. Dean looked like he was getting burned alive. His green eyes held so much torment I almost cried, but he beat me to it.

Stray tears ran down his face and fell onto his hands.

"No no no no, don't cry, I'm happy, I'm at peace. Don't cry for me." I whispered as I reached my hand towards his face. My fingertips just barely scraped across his cheek, he didn't seem to feel it. Tears started to run down my face like a waterfall.

"I'm so sorry, I wish I hadn't of ran. But I couldn't handle the way you looked at her. I wish I could take it back." I sobbed. Dean continued to cry silently in the back, he tried rubbing furiously at his face, he hated to show weakness.

The ceremony eventually finished and everybody filed out. It was a perfect day for a funeral, the rain was pelting down and I guessed it was cold. Now that I'm dead I feel warm. The Cullen's stayed around the church for a little bit, talking in hushed voices. I didn't care about them, instead I followed Dean to my newly buried body.

I sat on my tombstone and watched him, his hair was plastered to his forehead, he had bags under his red puffy eyes, his green eyes had lost their spark of cheekiness and trouble and he had tear tracks down his cheeks.

"Why did you leave, Bella? Why didn't you call? Let me know you were safe, you were happy—" He choked back his tears, a sob ripped through my body.

"Every damn day I wondered where you were, if you were even alive. Why did you leave me? I miss you, I-I love you, Bella. I always have, I just didn't know it until you left. God knows I tried to find you and tell you, I think Sam got sick of hearing me moan about you." He managed a small sad chuckle. I sat stock still, then a blinding smile lit my face.

I reached my hand out to him, desperate to feel his skin. I didn't notice it before but a type of haze stopped my fingers from touching his cheek. I pushed with all my might against it. It started to budge. I pushed for 20 seconds more until the haze split in half and my hand connected with his cheek, I accidently slapped him. He clutched his cheek in pain.

"Oh shit! Sorry." I apologized. His eyes widened as he caught sight of me, his mouth opened then closed, then opened again. I bit my lower lip nervously.

"B-Bella?" he asked flabbergasted. I gave a small, shy wave.

"Yeah, it's me." I answered nervously. He broke out of his stupor, I regret pushing against that haze because his eyes lit up anger. Crap.

"Where the hell have you been? Why didn't you call?" He almost yelled at me.

"I wanted to call, God knows I wanted to. But I couldn't." I tried to explain.

"How couldn't you? Did you get kidnapped and taken to some remote island where there's no cell reception?" I couldn't help it; I broke down crying.

"Every day I had to watch you love Lisa and I couldn't take it! Most of my life I have loved you and I couldn't watch you love another I-I just couldn't." I wailed. I collapsed on my tombstone with my head in my hands. Even in the afterlife my life still sucked ass.

I felt rough hands gently pry my hands away from my face. Dean was kneeled in front of me, he still looked pissed but his eyes mostly held love.

"You love me?" He asked me softly. I gave him a watery smile.

"For a while now." I admitted. He held my gaze softly and leaned in closer. The moment our lips met, it was like fireworks exploded. Nothing in the world could compare to this moment. I broke the kiss first. Our foreheads were still touching.

"Dean, I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I forgive you." He murmured. I smiled.

"Where's Sam?" I asked him a little painfully. I felt him stiffen. He didn't reply but I already knew the answer.

"H-how?" I choked out. He sniffed.

"Raphael." Was his only reply. I leaned back and looked at his face.

"Don't feel sad. I feel better now than I ever did when I was alive, Sam probably does too." I reassured him. He didn't look entirely convinced.

"I have to go." I murmured. I keep getting this strange feeling like I have to be somewhere. My guess, is that it's Heaven. Panic swirled in Deans sea of green eyes.

"What? Where?" He asked panicky. I chuckled and placed my hand on his cheek.

"Heaven. Guess I get to meet your folks." I teased him. He shuddered slightly. I crushed my lips against his in a passionate kiss.

"I'll tell Sam you said hey." I promised when we broke away.

"And if I see you in Heaven anytime soon, I'm gonna kick your ass." I threatened him. He managed a small smile.

"Just know that Sam and I are going to be with you wherever you go, and know that we love you, Dean." I whispered. I said a goodbye on Sam's behalf. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips then stood.

I looked around and saw the light. It was bright, but not blinding and it was warm. I turned around to see Dean watching me wistfully.

"Goodbye, Bella." He murmured. I waved back.

I walked through the light and almost automatically I was engulfed in a hug, by my Mom. I looked around and found myself in a bright green field. I was surrounded by everyone I have ever loved.

"I missed you so much, Bella." Mum cried into my shoulder. I hugged her back.

"I missed you too Mum." I laughed delightedly.

Yep, this must be Heaven.

**I might post one more chapter. It will include Bella's reunion with everyone (including Sam) and maybe she'll meet John and Mary. **

**I'm soooooo sorry about killing off Sam, but if you want I will explain how he died.**

**If you like this story you might be interested in my other one My Beloved Demon and Me. Or even In the Dark of The Night She Will Come (My newest creation, it's not a Twilight/Supernatural crossover though, it's all Supernatural, baby)**

**If you like Twilight/Harry Potter crossovers then I recommend my beta Lizzie Ried's story Unknown Changes, trust me, it's good.**

**P.S. The lyrics at the start are from the movie Tangled, it's called 'I can see the light'**

**ZooperDooper. (review)**


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